I've shared this on my Facebook status yesterday. A friend told me her husband told her that he does not loves her anymore, staying in the house like a hostel, have no responsibility of taking care of the children and maintaining the house. I wonder...Man, if you have the guts to tell her you do not love her anymore, why not have the guts to face it or leave the family? For once Please act like a MAN!
I'm sad to see this friend of mine changed so much after all these, she holds so much of grudges and hatred, holding on the marriage just because of the children. I was trying to get her out from the hatred but each time before I finish my line, she starts counting me another bad point about her husband.
I might be judgmental only hearing one side of the story, because no outsiders have any rights to judge who is right and wrong in an marriage. In Chinese we always have this saying "清官难审家务事" (A good judge can't solve a family issue). But at least as a man knowing there is a problem, try talk it out or stay out. Just can't stand some people avoiding it. That's what happen to a lot of marriage or relationship, just because one party do not want to be seen as the "Bad person", they ended up living like a zombie in the relationship.
Dev posted a question "Why a loving couple once , can lost their feelings, emotions , intimacy and passion??"
In my own opinion, a marriage is like a business, it needs to be maintain. It hurts more than a business failure that only incurred money, it involve everyone in the family. A relationship needs review and reflex too from time to time. Just like a business, it will reach a plateau, how do we create new products to boost the business revenue? What R&D needs to be done? What is the market trend? In relationship, before the passion is over, how do we maintain and creating the spark again?
Some relationship like sole proprietorship or limited company, any failure will only effect the partners, the directors and some employees. Marriage is like a listed company, it involving the stakeholders which the family members. How to have a "Built to Last" marriage?
We see many partnership failure in business and it is not surprise in relationship too if we didn't put the focus, time and effort into it. Are the both parties growing together? Are the couples doing things together? I always believe third party is not the cause of a relationship failure but it is surely a trigger point to explore the volcano. If a relationship is strong and firm, there is no way any third party can walk into them.
Yes, it is not about the gender issue here, it is all voice down to Love. Love is a chemistry, love needs many factors to maintain. The harder to work on a relationship comparing to a business because business is science, all knowledge and skill sets can be learn through a systematic way, but Love is an art, art needs to be feel, feeling it with passion.
William added that "many couple started their relationship as an ideal partner to the opposite so they can get it on, later they change back to their true self as such relationship fall apart. Other change later in life as they grew apart, this is also very common and in this case no one are at fault....life must go on. But no matter what, we must be truthful to each other and clean up the mess. Love is all about sharing, if there is nothing to share anymore, no point continuing the relationship."
Alex भद्र Saw was super duper angry on this post and brought up many points, one of it is this "besides love, thats responsibility.....towards your own children and your spouse, true man dun leave them ...they sacrifice their own greed, try hard to maintain a happy family, to me, i personally live in hell oso wanted my family live in heaven....me never important, my family joys, happy, life utmost important, .... living in this world not just for yourself, try think of others, able to bring joys, happiness, care to others indirectly bring joys and success to you, thats the meaning of love"
A relationship is like a game, every level is a new challenge and new profound, and it will depends on how a couple walk through it together. I've been through it, and it took me years to know what is it all about and I'm still learning, learning it on a real hard way.
With here, I wish those who found their love one a happy, joyous journey in their relationship. Is not easy to find someone we love and willing to walk with us in this whole wide world.
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